you would think someone who has to pop these pregnant lady anti vomit pills like candy wouldn't be gaining weight at the speed of light..
I'm here to tell you that is not the case.
(cry laughing/actual crying emoji)
I'm going to reveal my actual weight in numbers in this post, because I know that's what y'all are about!
whenever I read posts about weight loss journeys etc, I'm like "REVEAL SOME NUMBERS!".
not that it matters at all!!
we all know that!
its about inches and feelings..
the number is pointless but I'm such a nosey little beotch I just want to know every intimate detail about everyone, ever.
when I got pregnant with Elliott I weighed 145 pounds, I was content with that and felt comfortable.
I wasn't sure how pregnancy would go for me, my weight has always sort of yo-yo'd by 10-15 pounds but a normal weight for me was around 140-150 lbs.
I had HG with Elliott as well (I'll post about HG someday for anyone who is interested, just google it for now) and I was sick constantly plus didn't feel like eating so at my last weigh in with him I remember being 179 pounds.
that was great! we were both healthy and a 34 pound weight gain was manageable. I actually felt like it was on the lower end of what I had anticipated I would gain.
welcome 2016 and a new pregnancy...
I'd assumed a second pregnancy might come with higher weight gain but since this time I was starting out weighing less than my last pregnancy start weight, I was cautiously optimistic...
that was a mistake
I COULD NOT STOP EATING MY FIRST 6 WEEKS.
like could. not.
I was ravenous.
then the HG kicked in and I am now completely turned off by EVERYTHING.
but HG is sneaky because you're so sick all the time.. that in those moments of weakness when you eat, you STUFF YO FACE.
seriously every article is the same:
"don't worry about what you're eating just eat when you can"
and that's what we do.
I spend my days sleeping, puking and eating.
I basically only move from the bed to the couch.
so I'm no longer working out and I'm eating what I can when I can.
its a toxic combo.
and that's why I'm here to whine..
I feel HORRIBLE.
I went to the doctor a few days ago and I knew the truth was going to hurt.
my nurse is so sweet and she clearly must've seen the big weight gain coming because she kept saying "don't worry about the number!!"
before we even hit the scale lol
pre pregnancy 2016 I was at 130 pounds
only 3 months in and I'm at a whopping 155 already.
its scary because I didn't gain the majority of my baby weight until Elliott was almost done and ready to be born, so this is the struggle..
and it doesn't stop there!
along with my weight gain, every pregnancy gifts me with acne, horrible dull yet oily skin and major hair loss! I lost so much hair with Elliott it was crazy! this time its the same deal, its not bald patches its just an over all thinning and of course the popular "baby hair" hairline that just grew back is now shedding again!
this isn't a happy post, its a pity party.
I know there's no solution and there's bigger problems in the world but this is just a forewarning..
if you see me around and are like
"ouch did you see Holly lately?? she looks horrible."
you can save it!
I know I look horrible.
I feel horrible.
but I'm also in the process of growing an adorable little peanut!
its a ridiculous amount of work!
I'll admit it doesn't seem worth it right now..
but it will be!
because I already grew one and he is so friggen cute!
I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
*so cute. so cute. so cute.
worth it. worth it.
212 more days and I NEVER have to do this again.
^ 4 weeks!
^ 8 weeks!
I randomly came across our summer vacation photos this evening and it brought a literal tear to my eye..
my skin was so clear!
my hair so shiny!
This was only 3 months ago!
it truly is amazing what pregnancy does to your body!
good or bad, it is an amazing process.
Things I desperately miss:
- teeth whitening
- spray tans
- DELI MEAT
This is how I actually feel:
and if I ever get showered I'll need a 12 week photo.
goal set for upcoming weeks.
I look at newborn photos of Elliott to remind my self its not going to take as long as it feels..
I cannot believe this was 2.5 years ago!
tip: don't google too much while pregnant.
I know its helpful because you want to hear other women relating to you but there's so much hate among mommy threads it can be quite depressing.
especially on controversial topics..
ex: I googled pregnancy weight gain
and the women were straight up savage.
every pregnancy is SO unique only you and your doctor can assess what is best for your health.
do not let the body shamers get to you!
I'm hoping not to gain at this rapid rate for the next 6 months but I also know I'm doing the best I can with the given scenario and the weight will come off when I'm ready to start that post pregnancy journey. I may never look exactly the same or lose all of it but that's A-ok!
if you are interested in following some celeb real talk mommies I love Chrissy Teigen and my ABSOLUTE favorite Canadian mommy Jillian Harris, who posted this so real birth photo below..
along with her birth story - http://www.jillianharris.com/leos-birth-story/
I'm SO tempted to do a pregnancy video diary with bare belly shots on YOUTUBE because there is nothing more interesting to me than that realness.
Ex: Judy Travis showing off her post TWIN pregnancy belly!
but we will see if I can work up that nerve.
in other news I thought I would share my birthday gift in the photo below because its just so cute!
Nick got me some Pandora charms with baby theme this year.
a little Swarovski soother and two spacers with our kids birthstones
less baby updates, more beauty on the way
I'm just trying to find the balance since I like never shower or when I do its legit shower, puts back on pyjamas.... hahahah